Mum?
How did you come to marry Dad?
He was one of my brother's friends and one day he just asked me.
Just like that? - Just like that.
Didn't anything else happen? - No.
Really? - No.
l don't believe you. You're leaving something out.
What am l leaving out? - He had to fight for you.
He was a fighter, true. - And he had to kidnap you.
Didn't he?
Yes.
And what happened then?
One day he took me to a hut up in the mountains.
He kept me prisoner there for three days.
Were you scared? - Yes, l was scared. He was so strong.
And then what?
Then he took me to the top of the mountain. To show me the world.
He said, All that belongs to you and me.
And then he gave me such a long kiss l can still feel it now.
Beautiful, just like in a film.
More beautiful, lad. Much more beautiful.
And the tits of Mary Cobb have each one got a knob
to play with, to play with...
Stan.
The men at work gave me a present.
l want to show you something, too.
Go on then.
Later.
So? She's still got all her clothes on.
That's a princess. She's always dressed in white.
And the prince had to fight for her first
and then he was allowed to marry her.
Do you believe all that rubbish? - Yes.
D'you want to know why grown-ups get married?
So they can shag.
D'you know what that is, shagging?
Not really.
You don't know much, do you?
ls that what grown-ups do? - lf they're not arguing.
Your parents do it, too.
Look.
That's your mother.
And that's your father.
And that's shagging.
Would you like to try it sometime?
Listen.
lf you want to be good at shagging, you have to learn to kiss properly.
But l know how to kiss.
Oh yeah? Using your tongue?
Like this?
That's real kissing.
You can learn it there. Come on.
Don't be scared. l've got off with loads here.
You're lucky. That's Cathy, she's the horniest of the lot.
Go on, go and sit next to her.
Or someone else will.
Have you seen her teeth? - Well look at her legs then. Go on.
Don't tell me you let a chance like that pass.
l didn't know what to do.
Good Evening, ladies and gentlemen.
The most beautiful women in the world.
Good Evening, ladies and gentlemen.
Come closer, so that l can introduce you to Tiger Rita.
And next to me, the one and only Eva Pablova, the terror of Warsaw.
But that's not all...
See their breasts? There are little knobs at the end.
lf you rub the knobs they go hard.
lf the knobs go hard you know you're part of the way there.
Get it?
Good.
Poor boy. Show me.
OK?
Everything's fine.
Here. That's better.
Four fights for the price of one.
Come and see. Come and see.
l've never seen a woman like it.
She's beautiful, isn't she? - No, horny.
lf there's anyone who can teach you something, she can.
What a woman!
Come on. Tonight we'll find out what shagging is.
Stop! Stop it!
Naughty boy! - lt's all right. Come on.
No one's there.
Wait a minute.
Mum. Mummy.
Mummy, l want to go home.
Go and play for a bit. Here. - No...
The ginger one is Theo. He's in my class.
Didn't know his mother was like that. - OK, we'll go home.
l'll come with you. - You can't.
Bloody hell. The ginger bastard.
l'm sure they would've had it away. Right here in front of us.
That would've been worth seeing.
D'you know where Ginger lives?
Yes, but l've never been there.
Then it's time we went there to play. Tomorrow.
Are you sure it's here? - Yes.
What a woman.
Theo?
Come on, let's go. - Come on.
Theo?
Theo!
Someone's there. Someone's there.
Come on.
What a woman. l've never seen anything like that before.
l'm as horny as a rabbit. - Me, too.
l need to cool down.
And the tits of Mary Cobb have each one got a knob...
That's better. - l could do with some water.
Maybe today is your big day.
l can't.
Don't be scared. She's blind drunk.
She won't wake up.
What am l supposed to do?
D'you remember what that bloke at the fair did to her?
Do the same as him. Go on.
Her breasts.
She smells good. - That's because she's horny.
Lay down on top of her. Lay down.
Come on. Quick.
l still haven't done it.
l'll teach you something that'll make you feel better.
Watch carefully.
But you have to make sure you don't do it too often.
Cos it can give you a stoop.
Or drive you mad.
See?
Mum, Dad didn't kidnap you, did he?
No.
Why did you lie to me?
Because you are so young.
Everything is ugly.
Not everything is ugly, lad.
There are lots of beautiful things in life.
Go to sleep now.
Are you nervous?
Why should l be? - Because it's your last day at school.
l can remember my last day at school quite clearly.
The school dance.
l made the girls sweat. And not only from the dancing.
Do you use the cream l gave you? - Every day, but it doesn't help much.
You must be patient. - l've been patient for two years.
lt will go away. Later.
And if you don't scratch you won't even have any scars.
Here. Use this and come back next week.
Do you know what you want to be eventually?
Don't care, but definitely not a doctor.
Lisa Velani.
Congratulations.
l'll have her tonight or change into Harry Frankenstein.
Harry Voss.
What's the matter? Didn't your friend dare come?
ls he scared of going on stage with his ugly spotty mush?
Willy Stassen.
Dreaming again? You think too much.
Thinking gives you a headache.
Your diploma.
l came to see if you wanted to come to the school dance.
Why are you asking me? - Cos l don't want to go on my own.
And l like to be the best looking.
You know l don't like going to parties. Too many people.
Then we'll go somewhere else. - Where?
Where there aren't any people.
What are you doing?
Come on.
Let the wind carry my message.
ln my heart there's a song.
She is the answer to all my problems,
although her heart doesn't know it yet.
l didn't know you were a poet.
When you're in love the words just flow.
D'you know who l wrote that for?
Read the first letter of each line.
L-i-s-a.
Lisa? - l love her.
l love all girls, but they aren't interested in me.
l know. We'll go to the dance and you can read it to her.
Are you mad?
l'm too scared to talk to her.
When you're in love the words just flow.
Have you taken a good look at me? D'you think that's what women dream of?
That's not true. You don't know them. They can look straight through men.
When Lisa sees your face, she won't see your spots,
she'll see the poet, in your eyes.
lf you don't do it tonight you'll never do it.
CONGRATULATlONS! THE FUTURE lS BRlGHT.
Well, can you see her anywhere?
Hello Marina. - Hello, handsome.
Will you dance with me later? - Of course.
Don't forget, eh?
No, no.
Hey, she's on her own.
What should l do? - Ask her to dance.
But she doesn't dance. - Of course she dances. Go on.
OK, it's fixed. - What's fixed?
You'll see. Come on.
She's there. - Who's that?
Marina. l made a date with her.
l'll go first. Then we'll swap.
But l don't know her. - That doesn't matter.
You don't get it. l don't feel anything for her.
You don't have to feel anything for her, you just have to do it.
But she won't want me.
She's not like Lisa. Marina likes doing it, with everyone.
And she knows you're there too.
Does she? - Yes. l won't be long, OK?
l want to do it again later.
lf you want, you can do it right now.
Have you eaten anything special today?
No, but l've brought my friend along. He's waiting outside.
Do l know him?
He's a sensitive boy. A poet. - A poet?
Can l get him now? - lf you really can't carry on.
lt's your turn.
Are you sure we wants me? - Yes, she's waiting for you.
Come here, little poet. l'm getting cold.
See.
l'm sorry.
Have you finished already?
There you are, Frankenstein. lf you think you're funny ...
Unbelievable. You did it. - Yes, with toilet paper.
ls there any more whisky?
Yes, in the car. - Come on, let's go home.
Wait, let me help you.
Go on.
Go away.
l live nearby
but l can't make it.
Can't you carry me in? l really can't make it.
ls that yours?
lt's my poem.
Where did you get it from?
Found it on a train.
You can keep it. l don't need it anymore.
lf you've got a heart, carry me indoors.
l can hear it beating.
Which means you have got one.
Bill. - Harry.
Where have you been? - On holiday.
For how long?
Three months in Leuven, eight months in Vorst.
And how are you? - Thirsty... and penniless.
QUlET
l'm tired.
l live nearby. l'm looking after someone's house.
Someone?
Who l don't know and who doesn't know me.
Shall we do it? - For old times' sake.
We never dared do it. - Because you never dared.
Go on.
Go on, come here.
For Christ's sake. Come on, for Christ's sake.
For Christ's sake. - Let me do it.
Nice place.
So we did it.
lt weighs less than l thought.
lt was soft.
He's still warm.
She's dead.
But she's alive.
No Harry...
l wouldn't do that.
That's the best woman l ever had.
You only meet one like that.
We'd better bury her or we'll get into trouble.
She's too beautiful to bury.
Where are we going?
To a wedding.
And do you take as your lawfully wedded husband
Harry Voss.
For better and for worse.
Until death you shall part.
Harry. Harry.